Your truth, their truth & the truth

Navigating relationships is not an easy feat in life, whether it’s a partner, parent, sibling, friend, colleague, boss, or a complex blend of these.

Moreover, the main challenge in relationships stems from individuals exclusively viewing life through their own lens, often overlooking the importance of embracing other people’s perspectives.

Imagine a bouquet of flowers as a centrepiece on a round table. Regardless of your seat at the table, your perspective of the flowers differs from everyone else's. Life mirrors this scenario; even if you're seated beside someone, your viewpoint, while similar, remains distinct. Then recognise that the person across the table may perceive the flowers in direct contrast to your view. Is there a definitive right or wrong perspective on the flowers, or must you acknowledge the different positions at the table and, metaphorically, in life?

Upon understanding this, it is crucial to accept the threefold nature of truth: "your truth," "their truth," and the elusive "the truth."

This stands as one of the most challenging concepts to comprehend, especially within the context of a relationship. Our inclination is to believe that our perspective and memory precisely reflect the events as they occurred. Yet, the reality is different, and every individual is entitled to their own truth.

There is, of course, an exception, where absolute truth prevails. The unequivocal right or wrong principles remain the same as they were thousands of years ago – the 10 commandments, in particular the first 5. 

Do not physically harm anyone.

Do not commit adultery.

Do not steal or take anything that you do not own.

Do not tell a lie about someone or bring a false accusation against another person.

Do not desire anything or anyone that does not belong to you.

Now, don't fret, I'm not diving into religion here; it's just remarkable how the ethical principles from the 13th century BC still hold true today

Hence, unless your partner, parent, sibling, friend, colleague, or boss has physically harmed, cheated, stolen, lied, or desired something that doesn't belong to them, all other matters fall into the nuanced grey area of life and everyone has the right to perceive the situation from their unique vantage point at the table.